There are plenty of straight women,who, like me, harbor some version of the same fantasy. With the current mediafrenzy over gay culture presenting images that are irresistible, can you blameus?

Gay male characters on television aresomething of a hip staple these days, but despite their ubiquitous presence, therepresentations of gay men have been disconcertingly one-dimensional. Fewshows, if any, and certainly none on network TV, have presented well-defined,complicated gay characters that might challenge existing perceptions of gayculture and masculinity. Unfortunately, by only reinforcing perceptions thatviewers are already comfortable with, a vast majority of these shows preservethe status quo rather then challenge it.

When it debuted this summer, jumping into an already over-crowdedgenre, the “make better, not over” reality show QueerEye for the Straight Guy brought the joys of being gay to a whole newaudience. Carson, Thom, Kyan, Jai and Ted, the queer eyes who seem to havekicked off the current cultural infatuation with gayness, function likeambassadors of homosexuality to the straight world. They seem to have woo-ed anentire nation (or at least a large portion of straight women) with their charmand wit, as if daring Middle America to dislike them.

The men are bitingly funny and cattyand snarky in the way that your best girlfriends are, but with much better punchlines. In one episode Thom snipes about the décor of a straight guy'sapartment: “You've heard of minimalism right? Well … this is bleak.” Andthen there's Carson on a newly made over space: “Oh look! You put a livingroom where the crack den used to be.” Watching the show, you can't help butgiggle along.

With Queer Eye, the underlyingmessage seems to be that “if you just got to know us, you'd love us,” andthis strikes me as being quite possibly true. With its affable hosts, disarmingcharm and bitchy, but well-meaning, wit, Queer Eye feels like anespecially well-executed marketing campaign for homosexuality. I'll admit thatI've been won over. Queer Eye makes for great television viewing,but it's wholly dismissive (and far too easy) to assume that's where gayculture begins and ends.

By clinging to existing stereotypes,and mainly seeing all gay people as savants of style, we marginalize and dilutethe complicated lives of many. In ignoring gay men's sexuality, we project acondescending tolerance of a lifestyle, implying that homosexuality is all welland good, unless it actually involves sex.

Queer Eye seems to be the rulefor gay men on TV: cute, white, charming and totally asexual. But there are afew, though not very prominent, exceptions that challenge the rules.

In a scene from last season, Keith andhis partner David attended a brunch with mostly other gay men, where they play aparty game called Leading Ladies. The game embodies a stereotypical camp factor,asking party-goers to guess the names of various Hollywood starlets. David,Keith's partner, quickly dispenses with his turn, while Keithstruggles. By the end, Keith is so uncomfortable and obviously out ofplace, that a woman mockingly asks, “Are you sure you're gay?” Thebrunch scene underscores tensions already building up in David and Keith'svolatile relationship, but we're subtly shown that there exists an establishedculture that not everyone fits into. It's this depiction of a gay characterexisting outside of his sexuality and the stereotypes that come with it that isfascinating to watch and so rarely seen on television.

Cable networks like HBO and Showtimehave embraced the same sex relationship, but one of the rare instances onnetwork TV was found, surprisingly enough, on CBS's reality show TheAmazing Race . While Will and Grace gets credit for breaking thegenre wide open, and NBC now runs half-hours versions of Queer Eye in aprime time slot, neither of these shows present an extended look at a committed same sexrelationship (although Will does try periodically). The Amazing Race flew in under the radarthis summer and offered viewers the voyeuristic pleasure of spying onrelationships under pressure.

Chip and Reichen, the gay couple thatwon the race around the world, were identified as “married.” Whetherthe labeling was a calculated move to generate interest in the show or not, itcaused a ripple of controversy with conservative action groups like the AmericanDecency Association and sparked more then a few heated discussions on internetforums about the validity of such a claim.

Filtered through the magic of editingor not, what viewers were left with on screen was a portrait of a healthy,supportive, loving and mutually respectful relationship. We should all be solucky. The show presented them as fiercely competitive, aggressive in nature,and physically fit. Reichen and Chip challenged the stereotypes that all gay menare good for is fashion advice and snarky remarks.

While Reichen and Chip are married,though, we never saw them exchange a kiss. The gay-themed programming we'reseeing now offers up a straight sanitized version of homosexuality, one thatexcludes all mention, of, well, sex. Bravo,for example, kept Boy Meets Boy as asexual as possible. It may be theonly dating show that had an explicit “no sex” rule. Participants wereallowed to kiss each other, but a few episodes in and viewers had yet to see asimple smooch between any of the gay (or straight, when that turned out to bethe case) participants and James. The only person James repeatedly kissed wasgal pal Andra.

The social taboo that exists betweensame sex couples kissing or showing any kind of physical affection towards eachother is so strong that it's presented a somewhat warped perspective onhomosexuality. The current line of programming seems to suggest that gay men areonly different from heterosexual men in that they have a better sense of styleand a better sense of humor. While acts of lesbian sexuality have held amore accepted and erotic image in the sexual mythology of American culture,there still exist strong social taboos surrounding men kissing other men.Showtime's Queer as Folk, a series about a group of gay men, can beintimidating with its aggressive sexuality, but the explicit portrayals presentan honest look at the characters lives, one that viewers aren't alwayscomfortable with.

By prime time standards, gay sexualityis something that audiences don't seem to be ready for. Yet, if networkscontinue to ignore the topic and treat sex as the dirt little secret ofhomosexuality, that's best not seen or heard of, it sends the message thathomosexuality is indeed something best swept under the rug and not discussedhonestly.

This inequality between what'spresented on TV and accepted in real life is all the more apparent when theissue of legalizing gay marriages comes up. One of the reasons I so enjoyedwatching Chip and Richen on The Amazing Race was seeing them interact asa couple and realizing that behind the label of being gay, there existed twoindividuals, not caricatures, which is what a lot of shows seem to present uswith.

This current trend in programming mayjust be a passing fad, or it could lead to a more lasting, even-handedreflection of the gay community (one that may actually include a lesbian), butas of now they do little to combat people's preexisting prejudices.

Unfortunately, it looks like thisstatic trend in programming will continue into the new fall season. ABC's newsitcom It's All Relative has two gay parents at the center of its show,but it, too, is contrived and stereotypical. As expected, the gay men are shown asuptight, flamboyant, neat freaks paired with equally stereotypical Irishin-laws, presented as loud, crass, buffoonish drunks. Bring on the laughs!

The number of gay themed programs andgay characters on television continues to grow, but how effective they are atchanging and challenging long-held stereotypes is debatable. The problem now isn'tone of exposure, but of seeing more complicated and varying depictions of gaymen and women. The representations of gay men on TV, with so few exceptions,risk railroading an entire minority group into an egregious asexual (butcertainly well-groomed) cliché.

GLAAD (the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) analyzed the 2003-2004network lineup last month -- seeing It's All Relative as"groundbreaking." GLAAD also maintains a "WhereWe Are on TV " database of all gay and lesbian characters and "TVGayed ," a weekly guide to "what's LGBT on TV."

For a sharp (if slightly dated) academic analysis on the portrayals of gay menin film and television, check out "TheQueen in Shining Armor: Safe Eroticism and the Gay Friend " in the Journalof Popular Film and Television (Spring 2000).

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