The long list of male lovers programmed into Nell Fox's mobile phone all bear nicknames to denote their physical characteristics. From 'Tall Martin' to 'Short Phil' or 'Fit Dave,' their monikers light up when they ring — a delicious little private joke which never fails to make her laugh.

And she's so brazen about it that, not content with living a life that would have most women recoiling in horror, she's appearing in a TV programme and has invited cameras in to her home so she can share the sordid details of her life. The woman sitting in front of me talking freely about her active sex life is not the product of a some sink estate, but an intelligent, well-spoken and educated legal secretary from the leafy middle-class environs of Banbury, Oxfordshire.

Dressed in a fitted long black skirt, a smart blouse and with immaculate make-up and manicured nails, she says: 'Some lovers I meet through dating advertisements on the internet, and others I meet in pubs and bars. I'm not ashamed of being a mistress, why should I be? I'm not breaking up marriages or hurting anyone else.' A 48-year-old divorcee with a 21- year-old son — himself the product of a liaison with a married man — whatever possessed this former policewoman to treat other women — as well as herself — with such disregard? Raised Nell Bedford, she is the only child of a doctor and nurse and attended her local grammar school. She takes up the story.

'As a young girl I used to dream of meeting my Prince Charming, having a fairytale wedding and then starting a family. My parents divorced when I was three, and my mother raised me alone. She wanted me to find a husband and settle down and tried to impress on me that you musn't sleep with anyone until you're married.' Ma's homely chats about chastity don't seem to have paid off. Nell says proudly: 'I lost my virginity at the age of 15 to a boy from my town. His name was Nicky and he worked as a mechanic's apprentice.

This was to be Nell's first unhappy taste of life as a mistress, and she admits to experiencing a 'real thrill' She says: 'It was so exciting to see him, hold him and sleep with him, knowing that Lizzie didn't have a clue.

The result of this unhappy affair was Casper, now 21. Nell says: 'Stuart paid child support, and exchanged birthday and Christmas cards, but has never been happy to play a big part in Casper's life.' ON THE rebound, and thanks to a meeting through a dating agency, Nell met and married a 39-year-old businessman called Peter.

She trained as a WPC and joined Thames Valley Police, but just 18 months into her marriage, fresh temptation arose in the form of a police colleague, Tony. She says: 'We shared a late-night shift together in June 2000, and he started telling me that his marriage was unhappy. A few weeks later, we shared a quick kiss on duty together, and the thrill was absolutely electric.

'Within two months, I was wildly in love and he was planning to leave his wife. I don't even know how she found out. I think she found messages on his mobile phone or Tony might even have confessed to her, but she followed me in her car and confronted me.

Nell was undeterred. She soon found another willing (and again married) shoulder to cry on, in the form of Tim, a policeman she met on a training course.

Nell was forced to leave her fourbedroom, marital home and move into a smaller house in Banbury. Finally free to be a mistress, she found her affair with Tim collapsing. 'He said the strain of keeping it a secret was becoming increasingly hard. I had gone through a stressful divorce and I was in love, but after 12 months together, Tim said he'd had enough.

'I was heartbroken. I left the police force and became a legal secretary. I had lost my husband, my home and my lover within the space of a few short months. I found a new boyfriend, but when he dumped me too, I honestly felt devastated.' It was as she sat alone, sobbing bitter tears of self-pity, that Nell came up with an extraordinary plan. Rather than see her sexual infidelity as the root of her selfmade problems, she saw it as a solution.

It was, she believed, the perfect antidote to middle-age and loneliness. So while many other single women prepare for a gentle middle age with cookery courses or further education, Nell busied herself by surfing websites to fish for suitable mates.

Incredibly, she's proud of the fact that she set herself 'rules.' 'Right from the start, I decided that no man would be allowed to stay overnight. If he showed any sign of becoming emotionally attached, I would end it immedi ately. Call it self-protection if you like. I just didn't want to fall in love again and get hurt. I wanted to have variety and fun in the remaining years of my life.

It all sounds a somewhat cold and sordid business. So what of the hapless wives back home? Does Nell, whose own heart was once broken by a cheating partner, ever spare a thought for 'Tall Martin's' wife and their two young children? She dismisses the thought with an impatient wave of the hand. 'What they don't know can't hurt them. If anything, I help a marriage by giving the husband the time and attention that he craves.

Is there not a danger that a wife will discover the affair? Nell snorts her derision. 'In my experience, this only ever happens if the mistress is determined to make herself known, by ringing the house and hanging up when the wife answers, or even driving to try and meet her lover near his home.

'I never meet my married lovers at hotels or restaurants, so there's no chance of receipts being found. I make sure they visit my house, and they never stay overnight.' Depressingly, there is a high 'demand' for Nell's services. In March this year, she placed an advertisement in Private Eye magazine. It read 'Looking for discreet non-committal liaison with married man for fun and good times.' Within a fortnight, Nell had received 100 e-mails in reply, two-thirds from married men.

Suggest that the loveless sexual services she offers differ little from those of a prostitute, and she is quick to respond. 'If a lover came here, had sex and left £100 by my bedside each week, I would be a prostitute. But I ask for nothing and I get nothing, no gifts and certainly no money.

MY friends do know about my unusual lifestyle choice, but either they don't choose to make a comment or they accept me for who I am. Either way, I don't ask and I don't care what they think.

Incredibly, Nell's 21-year-old son Casper is an unwilling witness to much of his mother's behaviour. Sensitive, quiet and intelligent, he says sadly: 'I worry about Mum. I want to know that she'll be alright and not on her own at the end of the day. I'd prefer her to find somebody who can give her everything she needs, just a normal guy.' Nell dismisses this very notion with a shrug: 'It's all very well for Casper to say that, but if I hadn't had relationships with married men he wouldn't exist.' So is Nell a victim of circumstance or the mistress of her own misery?

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