I always have unhealthy relationships, it seems. Two months ago, I started dating this guy who's loving and a gentleman. He makes me feel great. He says he loves me every day and tells me I'm beautiful. The bad thing is he never keeps a promise and continually stands me up.

I feel that I need to let him go — but I know I won't find another guy like him again. It hurts a lot when he says he's coming to see me and then doesn't! When I ask him why he lied, he'll tell me right away.

I like him a lot, respect him and am so honest with him. Am I doing this all for nothing? What am I doing wrong here? Every time we see each other I'm so happy but I just don't know what is going on here. Is he seeing someone else, is he up to something, or what?

You RESPECT him? Listen, sweetie. You've run into a Smooth-Talking Charmer. He can talk you out of anything, including your pride. He only says, “I love you” to get the wheels running again when you stop responding because you've “almost” had enough.

You'll notice he has to tell you he loves you every time he sees you. He's putting funds into the Excuse Bank because he knows his future behaviour will be bad and unacceptable. He also knows you're a sucker for compliments, so he throws in “you're beautiful” and you forget he's stood you up again.

Wake up! You're letting this guy make a big fool of you. The trouble with too many woman — no matter what age — is they're too lazy to make an effort to find someone new and would rather put up with a jerk. It takes effort to meet new quality guys. They don't just come along. You have to allow yourself to be obviously single and out there. That means you have to join teams at work and/or clubs at school. You need to invite people to do things with you and bring friends home for coffee, lunches and barbecues. People who are successful at finding great love partners make a huge effort.

You've written me several times before. It's time to stop complaining and make changes. Things are not working out in your love life, so it's time to try something totally new. Start by dumping this charmer and ACTIVELY seeking a better friend and lover.

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