"There was a point when I was frustrated; at the end of my tirade, I looked at what I had wrote and I thought, 'You've never asked for help,' " said Earle. The 48-year-old leads marriage workshops with her husband, Jeff, a church pastor.

They show what it's like to be in a relationship with the write stuff: Couples who write about their feelings about each other may be more likely to stay together than those who don't.

That's the conclusion of University of Texas psychology professor James Pennebaker, who relates his research in "How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Words."

Writers who chronicle their relationships for 20 minutes a day were more likely to feel connected to their significant other, compared with couples who simply wrote about daily activities. Of those in the study who wrote about their relationship, four in every five were still an item. Of those who wrote about their schedule, only half were still together three months later. Researchers also found that couples who jotted down positive emotions on paper were more likely to verbally express love and affection to their partner.

Though the study used 86 college-age dating couples who might not display the same level of commitment or history together as a married couple, Pennebaker said the findings suggest spouses also could benefit from relationship writing.

"The couples wrote about all kinds of things — recent fights, different goals. Sometimes they would wax eloquently about how much they love the other person," Pennebaker said.

I remember when we first started dating, in the first year or so, and people would ask me about how it was to have a long-distance relationship. I remember saying that as long as the couple loves each other enough, and cares for each other enough, that they'll make it work. And I still feel that.

"I see the writing as a life course correction," Pennebaker said. "Maybe things are not going so well, or maybe you are having trouble talking to your partner about something. That's the kind of marker you can look for. You don't need to do every day or every week, but there are times it can clarify things."

"If you vent," she said, "and you are angry and you can write it all down, then you can ask yourself: 'Is this a valid reason to be angry, or am I upset because I got laid off?' "

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