Sonny and Cher. Ike and Tina. Fleetwood and Mac. Couples who once played together have not stayed together. Although some past musical pairs have broken up, dating a bandmate isn’t always a recipe for disaster.

Sonic Youth: Guitarist/vocalist Thurston Moore and bassist/vocalist Kim Gordan have been married since 1984 and are still together, band and all.

The White Stripes: Jack fell in love with the girl, Meg White, and married her in 1996. They divorced in 2000 but continued making music together.

Kurt Lane and Julie Noyce, KU alumni in Lawrence’s Ad Astra Per Aspera were married last May. The couple began dating six years ago, before the unpretentious rock band, formed near the end of 2001. Noyce, keyboardist and vocalist, was studying in France and Italy when the band began to take shape, but joined when she returned, says Lane, drummer.

The situation works to their advantage. One person being away for extended periods of time is not an issue for them and is something they take joy in not having to worry about, Lane says. He doesn’t know if this concept would work out for anyone because each situation depends on the details. However, Lane advises anyone taking the chance: keep things separate. “You can’t let the sort of weird things that happen in a band affect your personal relationship,” he says.

Jacki Becker, owner of Eleven Productions, a local music promotion company, works with bands on a daily basis. Whether mixing the music and the muse is a good idea or not, nobody knows, but Becker doesn’t warn against it.

Mates of State is a prime example, she says. It is a local band with two married members: Jason Hammel and Kori Gardner. Their music met in 1997, wedding bells rang in 2001 and they are now expecting a child. That Hammel and Gardner do a great job maintaining harmony both on and off the stage, Becker says.

Becker recognizes, though, the conflicting and classic example of Carly Simon who dated several fellow performers. The singer/songwriter dated on rocky roads, broke up on an even rockier ones and “You’re So Vain” ensued. However, if couples in bands break up, the bands don’t necessarily diminish, Becker says. Superchunk is a good example, she says. “Mac McCaughan and Laura Balance were married and broke up but stayed in the band, and that worked,” she says.

Like Superchunk, many bands watch members date and divide but decide to play on. Guillermo Sexo, a Boston and self-proclaimed “dark, Latin, freakout action” band maintained a steady band bond even though band mates Reuben Bettsak, guitarist/vocalist, and Jess Barnett, keyboardist/vocalist, dated for about a year. The couple began dating and, four months into their relationship, readily formed the band.

The relationship ended about a year ago and although it wasn’t the prettiest picture at the time, everything eventually waorked out. “There were disagreements initially about what should happen with the band, but we all ended up being able to move on,” Bettsak says.

Don’t let past artists’ downfalls after intra-band relationships discourage. Greatness is possible with on- and off-stage chemistry and everything in between.

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