Men are mutts, according to author Clare Staples, adding she doesn't mean that in a mean way. "They are both unable to express their feelings verbally, they take up too much space in the bed and are both afraid of the vacuum cleaner," says Staples, author of Everything I Know About Men I Learned From My Dog (Free Press).

"Seriously, they are both animals that have behaviour patterns which are instinctual but can be easily read and understood, thus making dealing with them an easier task," says the former glamour model who adds that if you want them drooling and eating out of your hand, what works for the four-legged companion works equally well for the two-legged variety.

"They both want what they can't have and place a high value on things they don't get often. They both love treats. If you chase either of them, they run away. The way to their heart is through their tummy. And both will drive you crazy sometimes," Staples tells the Sun.

So if you're in the market for man or mutt, you may want to sit up and take notice of a few techniques and tips. Right from day one, says Staples, establish rules of conduct, insist on respect and loyalty, and allow him to be alpha male -- at least some of the time.

A sexist and manipulative concept? Reminiscent of The Rules, a book advocating playing hard to get and getting guys to heel and roll over by rewarding him for good behaviour.

Well, laugh it off, says Manhattan psychologist Dr. Sharon Wolf. "Too often we view relationships with anger and hostility. This is just a playful and humorous way to look at relationships."

Some of it is general common sense, says Wolf. "There can be a lot more leg-lifting than we'd like and unless we work closely, it's natural for him to want to be top dog." The couples' counsellor adds rewards are beneficial in any relationship when seeking to reinforce positive behaviours.

And it's always good to set boundaries and not to alter your entire life for any companion, agree both authors. Wolf has written numerous books, including How To Stay Lovers For Life and Guerrilla Dating Tactics.

Meanwhile, Staples' pages instruct women not to pick either "breed" based on looks alone and make sure he likes children. Oh, and remember, it's tough to teach old dogs new tricks.

Staples adds that if you show them any interest, they'll take off; ignore them and they try everything to get your attention. "Treat them well and they take you for granted, treat them mean and ... well, you know the rest."

Staples is speaking from experience: Mr. Big, her Great Dane, is the love of her life. "I know about men, having dated quite a few; and dogs, having had them all my life and training them since I was very young." And she's had her share of good and bad relationships -- with both.

Ahhh, and when it comes to petting, take note: "Sometimes your dog will come to you hoping for a good scratch, sometimes you'll give him one and sometimes not. The trick is to keep him guessing, but when you do give him one, make sure it feels really good."

Well, human relationships are much more complex than that shared with any cute canine: "Dogs give a man unconditional love and companionship and they require little in return -- unlike a boyfriend or girlfriend," says Dr. Debbie Magids.

The New York psychologist and dating expert says there are times that the pet gets treated with more love and affection because it's easier; "intimacy is hard, expectations are hard. With partners your sense of self can get hurt, rejected; you can feel you've disappointed a partner and feel inadequate. But not with your pet! There you just get to feel great."

Staples book is cute to read for entertainment purposes, says Magids, but in a more serious way, it's somewhat ridiculous. "It's funny because there are some truisms, in the way stereotypes are made, but the truth is men and women are a lot more alike than we would like to think. We may have been socialized to behave differently, but underneath it all we all love, hurt, feel vulnerable, insecure, inadequate. We just show it ... in different ways ...

"We need to give men a little more credit than that. They need to be held accountable for their behaviour; they have brains and minds and emotions like women do!"

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