Now add the toot-toot of a merry-go-round's calliope, and imagine boys and girls circling 'round and 'round, some smiling, some scowling, some laughing and some crying. Their ride mimics the ups and downs of life, love, relationships going around and around.

Some people get on the ride and stay with the same people all their lives, experiencing times when a friend or partner is up on their white horse, and they are down on their dappled gray, and then they are up and the other is down. Sometimes, at the end of the ride, being alone with your pony in the down position is no fun.

Take my friend -- we'll call her Mary. She just stepped off the ride after five years of an on-again, off-again monogamous relationship and she has just one question: "Where are the men? There's no one out there!"

And what is possibly another deterrent to finding love everlasting? Mary is mature. You know what I mean. She is wiser and, you know, able to carry on an intelligent conversation with most anyone. OK, she's over 45. There it is. And what's a girl to do?

Mary is ambitious. She works two jobs. One of them is at a big-box home improvement store. She glances at the male customers as they come and go, looking for paint (for their horses), nails, hammers. Her eyes sometimes wander down to the left hand, looking for personal "hardware," in other words, a wedding band. Naturally, they are off-limits.

And Mary wanted to know, "One carat total, or one carat for each ear?" When he replied that each lobe would be graced by its own carat, she ruefully stated, "Where were you when I was looking for a man?"

Can you imagine her surprise when he came back the next week, professing an interest in Mary and mentioning that he did not end up giving the diamonds to the now-ex-girlfriend? Uh-oh.

Mary was shocked, and stated in a most apologetic and sincere manner that her remark was meant in jest. The man took it well and a misunderstanding was gracefully smoothed over by both parties.

Then there was the guy who was so shy, he took Mary's number and said he'd call, but didn't, and then admitted he was a little rusty at dating. He invited Mary to his house for dinner, and when she got there, he hadn't even turned on the stove. Rusty? I wonder what his silverware looked like.

Sadly, they never made it to the movie. But Mary is not completely frustrated. After all, she is not after anything that money can buy; she wants a mature, trusting and loving relationship. Although at some point, those one-carat diamond earrings would look lovely on her ears.

Next time, we'll see what Mary and other singles are doing in Englewood to meet people, be it on the dance floor, at the neighborhood tiki bar or even on the Internet.

This is cache, read story here